1   2   3   4   5    6    7    8   9    10

 So humans….on this scale where do you fall?  Or where do you rate yourselves?

I’m supposing that on any given day the average person feels and responds and reacts to the world around them at a rate of 4-6. Seems average doesn’t it?Now lets take ME for example. I rarely view or experience my world at a 5. I am much more prone to feel the extremes of the scale, 1-10. Why is that? Is it abnormal? Perhaps peculiar? Odd even?Certainly not average, right?What if I were to say that approximately  2.8 million people in the US do not record as being average in this study. Now that’s a lot of oddity. Or is it?Let’s say beige is an average color. Now imagine everything being average or normal on this spectrum. BORING right?

Examples of nature: the sky reflects as being a pale blue with fluffy white clouds on the average day in most parts of the world. But what happens when a rainbow of incredible color and fascination spreads across the span and takes the gazer by surprise? That’s not normal? Therefor we shouldn’t accept it in our average mentality? Or should we?

How does the heart and soul respond when it is ignited by the fire of another’s acceptance of love? What’s the average or normal here? Is the strange and wondrously unknown supposed to happen?   Is that a 5?When artistic expression is exhibited in such a way it almost seems humanly impossible, where is the norm?

Perhaps the pain of below average existence according to the human standard is what brought us the depth of Blues Music.  A 2 , tearful love songs and unfortunate war ballads. Was it in the despair of darkness and depression that poetic words were penned from a 3?The  1’s were solemn and distraught; the feelings from the memoirs of the oppressed that we read with renewed strength

.The excitement of a fresh falling rain inspired the 9 to dance all night in the street puddles and choreograph the River Dance or maybe Rent. Speaking of rain: the choice is always yours to make. To simply get wet and miss out on the entire purpose of the rains existence, which is far more than one can find. Or to choose to allow a simple droplet to fall on your face and mingle with the tear of a loss or pain. To be cleansed of all negativity from world and self and to dance uninhibited with total abandon is a possibility if you were not a 5.

I’m not average minded . I’m not a 5  on any regular basis. You see, I’m have bipolar. I’m not bipolar, I have it. It is a mental illness. You may have allergies or asthma or high blood pressure or a thyroid disease, I have bipolar.This may affect what I can be exposed to: like a cat allergy.My bipolar might bring on an inability to breath right like asthma.I will probable have to be careful what I eat and be aware of certain triggers like salt to high blood pressure.I will most likely take medication for the rest of my life and will have negative effects if I stop , just like a thyroid disease.

The world sees mental or brain illness as something not real not acceptable, a stigma.  Why?, I don’t know. I sometimes think the average person assumes that they have the upper hand in the spinning of this world and anyone outside the 4-6 spectrum is ….well….out there.

In case you haven’t noticed, ummm ,  “I’m” out there. I have finally realized that being out here is not bad at all. I find it more difficult to be a 4-5-6 than anything else. When the “middles” happen to me I feel almost nothing. Oh I exist just fine. I get a days work done and go from A to B  without much trouble, I even make people around me comfortable. BUT I FEEL nothing , it’s my numbing phase . You see, without the extremes of the 1-2-3- or 7-8-9-10 I experience boredom. I know that is hard to fathom but it’s real. Trust me, I know it’s real. It has taken me almost 55 years to come to this conclusion. Let’s just say I have been a long experiment and have finally graduated from the beaker in the lab of life.

I have come to the realization that I do not need to ask for anyone permission to be bipolar. I yam who I yam 🙂 . It’s not hard being me …it’s hard for others to let me be me.It must be almost agonizing for the average minded or norms of this world to tolerate us “out theres”. I love my hubby with all of my being and soul. He is an average minded person and very good at it I must add. He is learning how to discover who I really am “out there” , and I’m accepting his “norm”. This is a time for growth and revelation into who we are individually and who we are as one. What an interesting ride  33 years have been.

The spectrum of 1-10 holds no limits. It is only bound by the parenthesis applied by man. The average mind set. I choose to not be enslaved by any limited spectrum. I am free to be who I am. I am bipolar and in all of it’s supposed  adversity , I embrace the limitless person whom I have been created to be. The sky is my limit…I will fly, not only in my dreams but in my art and in my relationships and in my accomplishment in life.

I have said a lot in defense of the “out theres” , now let me hold your attention for just a moment longer as I speak on behalf of the “norms”. I married a norm and I owe my life to him. He has kept me stable when stability wasn’t even in the picture. His regular consistency in life saw my family through the impossible years. His never ending love and commitment to us made life possible. He hung in there when I would have given up. He was always the balance when I had none. He allowed the dips and sways and highs and lows and never knew what they were. All he knew was to be his “norm” his #5. and it saw us threw events no family should have to face.  All this said…This world is made up of very unique people. 1’s  2’s  3’s  4’s  5’s  6’s  7’s  8’s  9’s  and 10’s. Sometimes those people fill the entire scale in one day, others may be a 3 and then jump to a 9 without explanation, as others remain in the 4-6 spectrum….all is good…yes all is good.

 I am my normal.

 Are you yours?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s